Hello Folks and Happy New Year!
I hope you all made it through Christmas and New Year's safe and sound with only a few bruises and scars that heal quickly. :) I had a great Christmas and New Year's and then it was on to the dreaded birthday. I didn't think six months ago it was going to bother me as much as it actually did turning 40 two weeks ago. Rough, rough thing turning 40, but it really did ring true had I chose to say "I'd rather be 40 than pregnant". But I didn't say it...well I just did and by that I mean, I 'd have more kids in a second, if A. I never had to be pregnant again and B. my husband would be as enthusiastic about it as me and C. it didn't cost like a 30 Grand to give a child a healthy happy loving home that otherwise may not have one. Ridiculous I say ridiculous. My husband got crabby just today because I sent him a picture of a small dog that was in need of a home. YOWZA did I get snapped at for sending that picture. Maybe he just has no more love to give. I don't know, but he isn't in the mood to discuss a tiny dog that probably would not even be hardly noticeable in our already zoo of a home but hey, I'll back off that fire...even if sturgeon spearing is coming, the sport of all sports that he manages to make me extremely angry about choices that are made that I deem unsafe all for the sake of a prehistoric uglier than ugly, I am talking...U-G-L-Y fish. And here is a secret between you and me...I really don't want another dog right now, what I really want is the love of my son and I am kind of smart enough to figure out that I could fill my house with sixteen dogs, twenty five cats, and seven stuffed hippos and 5 zebras and it still wouldn't be the same as having my son home, so I'll just continue having a laugh over antagonizing my husband with the thought of getting more animals.....although I don't think he thinks it is funny anymore and he knows too that spearing is coming and that when I get upset, I tend to just do what I want without his permission. YIKES....better behave there buddy boy! LOVE YOU
But one has to wonder if I'm suitable anyway for adopting a child, and no I am not even considering what is going on with my teenager but instead a ceramic duck that was placed in my care in, I think, early October. First let me say, I'm not comparing a child to an ugly ceramic duck, but well, there are crazies out there who might think I am comparing the care of the two, and if they can be compared, than no, I'm not suitable to raise another child and well, maybe someone should save mine from me now.
This summer we met a fabulous couple of couples who camp near our home. One right across the street. And we all became fast fast friends. Campfires, Crab Boils, always looked forward to when they were coming. And I was always happy to unload some chicken eggs off on folks because I had an over abundance for a few months.
I think I have mentioned I am a bit of a prankster when it comes to my neighbors...nothing crazy or destructive...just good clean fun. Sometimes stealing is involved but a note is always left. Well, these new friends/neighbors took a dozen eggs home when they went back to Kaukauna. We had discussed me and my sense of humor but there was no reason for her to think that I even knew her well enough to pull a joke on her. So she goes home and when she decides to use these eggs, she cracks one open and nothing comes out and that poor woman thought she got an egg with a chicken in it. I can't imagine what that would do to my soul if I cracked open an egg and nothing came out knowing that the person I got the egg from had been unsuccessfully trying to hatch some of her own. (NO not my egg, I don't lay chicken eggs, but eggs from my coop). Luckily for her and me, there was no chicken in the egg but it was hard boiled.
My husband sometimes when we have extra eggs will just boil up a dozen or so because my youngest son loves them. I, however, did not know this and so I grabbed the top carton and sent them off. Well my neighbor thought I had done this on purpose and by golly I wish I could have taken credit for it, but I couldn't. It was a complete mistake to send her with a dozen, half of which were hard boiled eggs. But man, I still have that image in my head every now and then of her cracking that egg and thinking there was a dead chicken in it and I start laughing all over again.
But the pranks have now begun and it all started with a penny auction that I was NOT even at and a trip to Mosier's. You have NOT lived unless you have been to Mosiers but here is what happened. S and D "won" this ceramic duck, about the size of my cat, that had on it a ceramic cap with ceramic ear flaps and what appeared to be a ceramic scarf. They, being the giving and nice people they are, left the duck with me, thinking I wanted to add it to my decor in my kitchen which has some duck decoys high up on a ledge. Sadly, the duck did not just blend well enough into my decor and it wasn't going to be able to stay. This is when the pranking began....halloween was coming soon and I knew that S and D got into Halloween and really had fun with it. So, (warning...sick and twisted humor entering) I spent about an hour one afternoon Halloween weekend learning from a you tube video how to tie and noose. Once I got the perfect noose tied, over to Shadanland I went and right outside their outhouse "Red Duck" decided he needed to hang himself with a suicide note taped to the outhouse door saying something to the effect that he could not live anymore in this cruel world with those snobby ducks feeling so unwanted.
Yes it was the beginning of the Adventures of the Unwanted Duck. Because yes, later on the duck was on my porch again in a different disguise with a note attached. Green Duck appeared, with his ear flap cap painted Green with the Packer emblem on the front and green scarf sporting Packer beads looking for his brother Red duck whom he had heard lived at my house now and he was so looking forward to the watching the Packer Game with his brother. Oh my goodness....did we have a laugh when the duck came back. It took me many nights of thinking and laughing of course what to do with Green Duck and it was decided that while in his mourning Green Duck, who watched the Packer game with an unknown flock spent the night with a flamingo after having a little too much duck juice and just before running off to Vegas. So there I was with a brand new baby Fluck. Flamingo / Duck. Oh what to do what to do........stay tuned for the next chapter in the adventures of the Unwanted Duck.
If you can't wait until I have time to sit down and finish my story, go on facebook and search for Red Duck and send him a friend request...he would so love it, because he truly does feel very unwanted. There also you can see all the things so far Red has been transformed into while on his adventures.
Oh and as far as the Wasted Weiner dog....well, unfortunately, I thought that looked GREAT in the title but I have not been given permission for full disclosure on this cute little pooch and I'm really trying hard to get her to like me and to sit on my lap WITHOUT having a hot dog in my hand so I don't want to make her mad by spilling her secrets just yet....in due time, she will come to love me, I know she will. It's hard to warm up to me I know....but once you do....friends for life baby!!!
Have a great night all and watch later for "The Flight of St. Quack".
No comments:
Post a Comment