Maybe the Floppy Hat Isn't Really All That

I love hats.  LOVE HATS.  Most days, especially in the summer, you will see me wearing a baseball cap of one color or another.   So, I get this rewards card in the mail for JCPenney and I have a free, FREE 20.00 to spend at their store.  Well, yeah, it’s not free considering the interest I pay on the JCPenney Card that is in my purse, however, I never refuse to take advantage of these great coupons they send me.  I immediately saw what I had wanted forever, A FLOPPY HAT! It was beautiful, just this beautiful brown floppy hat that went with just about everything.  I got that hat and just waited for an occasion to wear it. 

As soon as Dave saw the hat, he said, I won’t sit by you if you wear that to church.  “REALLY?  This is an awesome hat, I could pull it off”, I said.  When I showed my friend Elizabeth my hat, she of course, being the great friend she is said, “What a cute hat! It’s like a Blair hat (Gossip Girl)!”  Oh, yeah, now I knew I had the coolest hat ever if it was like Blair’s!!!

Well, I needed to gather up the courage to wear the hat in public due to my husband’s snickers and I needed to get past the humbling of the day I wore it and it was windy and when I went to get the mail the wind swooped my hat right off my head and I was chasing it down the street. But the day arrived when I could wear the hat.  It was the perfect occasion! My dad’s birthday! 

The family was meeting for Pizza at Sammy’s Pizza in Schofield. (BEST Pizza ever).  So I donned my floppy hat and away we went.  Elizabeth, who has now become a part of the family came along said nothing about the hat.  I just knew she liked it, she didn’t have to say anything. 

Well, I started to wonder if the hat really was all that.  Because, everyone who arrived from my family, to my sister, my brother, my sister-in-law all said the exact same thing at different times.  “What’s with the hat?”  I LOVE THE HAT I responded.  My sister in law even asked me if I had MADE the hat, which resulted in bursts of laughter from others.  They all remembered the hat I knit for my Godson at Christmas time.  I’m telling you, it was the cutest, THE CUTEST little green and brown stocking hat for a baby I had ever seen, if I do say so myself.  Christmas Eve, she emailed me a picture of the hat that I worked tirelessly on for weeks.  However, I did not look at the picture immediately.  Two weeks later, I thought, oh yea, I gotta see the hat on Calvin.  Opened the picture and just sat there for about 30 seconds not moving.  Not breathing, and then the bursts of laughter came and tears were rolling down my face. Don’t you just love when you laugh until you cry?  The hat, well, to put it lightly, did not fit him.  Was it too big?  Oh no, It did not even cover a quarter of the top of his head let alone pull down around his ears to keep them warm from the cold Wisconsin winter.  That hat sat on the top of his head and looked like it belonged on a Barbie doll.  So, no, no I did not make the floppy hat I was sporting that day.  I never heard anyone ask my brother what was with the hat he was wearing, a Brewers baseball cap.  Never heard anyone ask Dan, what was with his hat, a baseball hat.  Nope, they all just commented on me and my big ol’ floppy hat.  I guess the hat just isn’t all that.  Especially when walking out my dad said, “I used to have a hat just like that”.  ALRIGHT ALREADY, I GET THE HINT! Not that my dad doesn’t have great taste in hats, but I really didn’t consider this a hat to be even closely suited to a type of hat that a man was wearing. I was channeling my inner Blair, not my inner safari hunter.

I’m used to being laughed at though.  I laugh right along with everyone, I know exactly where I fit in, in the grand scheme of life. 

If you haven’t realized how big of a dork I am by now, this may be what leads you to the other side.

I was gathering all the things I needed to take to the pizza place that day.  My family all lives quite a distance away, so usually there is a pile of stuff that needs to go along to be passed off to someone else, and believe me when I say, as much stuff as I bring to them, they give to me. We never come back with an empty trunk, even though we make the agreement before we leave almost every time that we will NOT be bringing anything home with us. 

However, I needed to wrap two gifts, one for my dad and one for my mom, whose birthday was the previous month. (YES, I saw my mom before going to the celebration for my dad’s birthday but kept forgetting to give her the gift I had waiting for her). 

Did I have birthday wrapping paper?  No.  Did I have a correct size gift bag for the gifts? No. So, I wrapped them both in Christmas wrapping paper.  My husband, of course, said “nice paper”.  I said, “oh, it’s just going to get ripped off anyway and besides…it should be Christmas everyday!” But then came time for the cards. I had two cards for them, each having a funny saying about hearing impairment, not that they are so old they can’t hear anymore, but more so making light of my own hearing impairment.

I signed my mom’s card and wouldn’t you know I had no envelope.  Honestly, I’m not sure I even grabbed an envelope when I bought the card.  So, I signed the card and taped it to the package with a little side note saying “Late AND no envelope, someday I’ll get it all together, but don’t hold your breath”.  I signed the card from the four of us and taped it to the top of the gift and put it in the microfiber bag I had been packing with other things I needed to take along.

Then I signed the card for Dad.  Guess what?  No envelope.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME???  Nope, I had no envelope.  SO, another side note was added to that card immediately. “Christmas paper AND no envelope, someday I’ll get it together but pretty sure my hearing will come back first”.  Then I signed the card. Love, Dave, Becky, David, Dave & Lane.  Oh crap.  New little note added to the bottom. “I guess Dave loves you double today, see side note”.  It got a chuckle out of my dad I think but well, I wonder if he fears for the day my husband is going to send me back.  No, I don’t think I need to wonder, I know he does.  Don’t worry dad, I’m not coming home again, Dave is stuck with me, and guess what? HE CHOSE ME….HA…who is the joke on now???

So, the floppy hat has been hung in the closet.  I think I’ll wear it this weekend to the crab boil. See how many people there say “What’s up with that hat”.  Oh, I will only know 4 people there so out of the 20 or so will be saying, awesome hat!!! Or more likely probably whispering, “who is the chick with the ridiculous hat on? Where does she think she is from , the upper east side?”   

Well, no people, I do not. I am not even from the upper east side of Redgranite.  But man, ridiculous as it may look, I love that floppy hat and think if I wore a plaid flannel shirt, I may even resemble Ellie Mae from the Beverly Hillbillies.  Wouldn’t that be fun? On to the next adventure for this cracked pot.  But I know someday God is going to use my brokenness for the good of others.  I have said it before, I'll say it again, even if that is just using me so people can look themselves in the mirror and smile and say, well at least I'm not THAT girl.  

Wear your hats ladies!  The bigger and floppier the better and pretty soon everyone will be wearing them and I can say I started an awesome fashion trend in the area.  Yeah, ok, it's JCPenney that did...or tried anyway, I found the hat on the clearance rack, I know...no one is buying another floppy hat.  I will wear mine with pride thank you very much.

May God bless the rest of your week!